


Marks

by ShittyFlangstWriter



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends With Benefits, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Post-Time Skip, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26303404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShittyFlangstWriter/pseuds/ShittyFlangstWriter
Summary: My lips on your neck, your nails on my back. The slight crack in your voice when you call out to me. Asking me, begging me, to give you what you want, what you so desperately craved. I give it to you, my fingers digging into the skin of your hips, leaving you gasping for more.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke & Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 14
Kudos: 98





	Marks

**Author's Note:**

> Can we just ignore the fact that this was inspired by Sinful Indulgence by Miura Ayme? 👀👀👀
> 
> Also, please forgive me, this is my first time writing anything remotely close to sexual content. 
> 
> A little side note about the structure, the "===============" signify a POV Change.

"Kiyoomi." You whisper. "Just..." You whimper.

I shush you and let myself sink into the abyss of pleasure you give. You've always teased me if I felt anything since I was always so stoic, so calm and collected. Don't you realize that _you're_ the only witness to me unravelling myself?

Only you can see me giving into my desperation. Only you can see me so out of control. Your hazy gaze filled with overwhelming lust looking into my eyes, haunting me even as I fall asleep. This side of me belongs to you and you alone. I gasp as your mouth finds my neck, I know you're near. I wrap my arms around you and give you what I know will sate you.

My lips on your neck, your nails on my back. The slight crack in your voice when you call out to me. Asking me, _begging_ me, to give you what you want, what you so desperately craved. I give it to you, my fingers digging into the skin of your hips, leaving you gasping for more, more, more, then none at all.

I let go of your body, trembling from over-stimulation. I allow myself to take a few breaths before collecting myself and standing up. I throw the condom away and began looking for my clothes. Hearing the covers rustle, I force myself not to look at you. Once I finished dressing up, I keep my gaze ahead, I don't excuse myself for leaving, I don't say anything. I take one foot in front of the other until I'm at the door.

I don't allow myself to breathe until I'm inside the elevator. It was then that I feel it crashing down on me. A heavy prescence looming over my shoulders as if the grief has finally settled in. We made this arrangement specifically for each other because we knew that it was impossible to fall. We know that we aggravate each other more than anyone. We were convinced that it would be a great way to kill-off any tension that our words may create between us. We thought that we could keep things "professional" between us, strictly business, with no strings attached.

It was supposed to stop at that, this thing between us. I wasn't supposed to see anything apart from a body that felt good against mine. Yet here you are, and I see all of you. The light in your eyes at a successful play, the clench of your fist when you hold back your laugh, the fidget in your fingers when you're nervous.

So why am I here now? Leaning against the elevator for purchase, trying to get the idea of your bleached, but soft hair out of my mind, your eyes when you show me a side of you unguarded by inhibitions, your hands when they thread through my hair, your voice when you whisper my name with a reverence that I know isn't real, your lips when you leave your marks, visible and invisible.

I told you that day that there should be no worry of me falling for you. That to me, apart from your body, the entirety of you was as repulsive as I can imagine. Yet when I think of you, I don't think of the arrangement that we made. I think of how you, ironically, drink your coffee with nothing but hot water, how you add unholy amounts of syrup to your pancakes, how you can tell the grade of tuna just from a single taste.

I know I'm fucked. You've made it pretty clear to me that no one, let alone you, would find me attractive. I find myself laughing at the irony, me, out of all people, falling for someone, a person who I least expect it to be.

===============

When you stood up, I felt the cold creeping up on my body. I take the covers and wrap them around myself. I stare at your back, observing the way each muscle contracts with your movements. You run a hand through your hair, as you pick up your clothes from when I tore them off you. My eyes never leave you, following your every movement. Once you were fully dressed, I pray to all the deities that I know, to have you look at me. But you don't, you leave my room, I hear you padding down the stairs and I hear the door shut behind you.

The sound of the door closing finalizes that you've left me again. I tore myself from the covers and walk to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and feel the cold water dripping down my body. I feel hot wetness on my face and I let myself free. I was heaving by the time I register the headache brewing inside my head.

Once I've calmed down, I quickly wash myself then dried my body. As I pass by the mirror, I catch patches of discoloration across my chest. Your marks of your mouth and your hands, painting my skin as if a morbid display of sin. I touch the marks your mouth made on my neck and shivered at the slight pain that the action caused. You always are so eager to leave marks on me.

My hands travel down to the one on my collarbone, this one larger and of a deeper color than the first. I wince at the pain and take my hand away. I know this shouldn't be so. But for now I'll let myself believe that you marked me to make me yours. That you feel a flutter in your stomach because of the touch of my hand. That your breath hitches when I kiss your lips. That you're showing me your care and your love from the tenderness of each caress.

Walking back into my room, I am once again hit with the reality that such is not true. I feel tears welling in my eyes once more. As I lay down, I let them fall. I take a pillow and smother myself as a let out sob after sob. After I've calmed down, I laugh to myself when I think back to how 'Samu always called me a crybaby despite being older.

I used to cry over the littlest things when we were kids, my fallen ice cream, my stubbed toe, my forgotten lunch box, my tooth falling out, a wrong word from a classmate. 'Samu always told me that he'd keep me from crying, yet I think this is the only thing he can't keep me from hurting like this.

I force myself to sleep, I close my eyes, I toss and turn, I count sheep, dogs, cows, chickens, frogs, yet I remain awake. My mind then drifts to you. Your deep voice that makes my entire being weak. Your hands cradling my face and you thumb wiping away the tears that have managed to escape. Your teeth digging into my skin leaving _your_ marks. Your hair tickling my face whenever you bury your face into my neck. Your scent intoxicating me into a dizzying haze as you grant me yet another round of satisfaction.

I've always told 'Samu that he was a glutton, always eating, making food, buying food. I remember telling him once that if he'd go to hell, it would always be for gluttony. Yet here I was making a mockery of the joke I have come to know as myself when I realize what _my_ sin was. Lust, an insatiable thirst, one that I use to cover my unfulfilled love.

I feel the phantom touch of your hands all over my body making my heart clench once more. I want your arms around me. I want your lips pecking my face. I want to wake up to your messy hair and soft snores. I'm sick of this one-hour exchange that we have. I'm sick of pretending that I'm loved every time you look into my eyes. I'm sick of feeling tenderness in rough thrusts. Most of all, I'm sick that despite this all, I still come back. I still look for your warmth, your words and your aggression.

With a final thought of your 52 moles, I feel myself drifting off. In my dreams, I can hear your voice whispering in my ear, telling me the words you always said. That I've been good, that I was enough, that I was yours. Never did I hear it say that you loved me, yet here you are repeating it as if a mantra, as if it was the only prayer that you'll ever utter, as if your repetition will convince me that it was real.

===============

"Myaasam! Another batch of onigiri please?" Koutarou called from where they were sat.

It was just after closing time and the team had asked Osamu for a few more hours to keep the shop open. It gave him money so he didn't see any reason to object. His deliveries were also coming in around the same time so he didn't see the harm in keeping the store open for his brother's team. Except, of course, that they were loud and ate more than he could make. He could manage with a few more hands to help him of course, but Osamu had been alone by the time they came.

"I just put an entire plate up there do ya even chew yer food, or are ya just inhalin' stuff?" Osamu asked indignantly as he placed another plate in front of them before taking a huge gulp of sake from his glass.

Osamu took a seat next to Atsumu who was laughing with Shouyou, who was seated across from him, about something that happened in Brazil. On his other side, was Kiyoomi who was conversing quietly with the sane members of the team. Osamu knows of what his brother feels for the raven, he also knows of the current relationship that they're in. He had found out when Atsumu hadn't read his text and had come over during one of his brother's breakdowns. It took him more than an hour to get his twin to confess, only to get the knowledge that he has now.

Since then, Osamu began to look closely at how the two interacted. Even he could say, the front that they put up for the world was extremely convincing that even he almost believed it. To an outsider, they wouldn't have seen any indication of something happening between them. He wouldn't have seen if he hadn't known what to look for. It wasn't one of Osamu's brightest moments, but even he had fumbled with pining for a seemingly unrequited love that he had suffered because of Suna Rintarou. He knew what it was like to steal glances when no one is looking, to want to reach out to hold another's hand only to pull yours back.

To the world, they were rivals, they annoyed each other everyday, they always try to one-up the other, they always make jabs at each other and provoke each other to the point of physical retaliation. To Osamu however, he could see that Kiyoomi's hand would drift to the back of Atsumu's chair to rub his thumb at the small of his back. He could see Atsumu leaning a bit too close to the other as he throws his head back to laugh at whatever anecdote Shouyou was narrating.

Osamu thinks that his brother was incredibly obvious, but he couldn't fathom how the blonde could think that his love was unrequited when Kiyoomi looked at him, touched him, smiled at him in such a way that can only be described as utterly infatuated. He was careful, he'd give him that, he always made sure no one was looking. He'd let his gaze linger at each of his teammates first before turning to look at Atsumu who was slapping his thigh as he leaned on his arm. He'd look around before moving his arm to touch the small of Atsumu's back.

Kiyoomi looks around once more as his hand retreats to his side and meets Osamu's eyes. It was then that Atsumu excuses himself from the conversation to say that he needed to go to the bathroom. The raven's eyes follow Atsumu as he exits the room, an expressionless, however, fond look on his face.

"Ya know, if ya don't spell it out fer him, he won't get it." Osamu said as his twin closes the door to the restroom.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kiyoomi muttered, taking a drink to avoid Osamu's gaze.

"The two of ya are too stubborn and oblivious ta tell each other yer feelin's, I know that, but if ya actually plan on doing anythin' about it, do it soon." Osamu said just as the main entrance to the shop opens.

"Osamu?" Shinsuke calls out from the door.

"Kita-san? Kita-san!" Atsumu shouted as he ran to where his senior was standing in order to give him a hug.

"Put me down Atsumu, and yes, I missed ya too. Are ya drunk again?" Shinsuke said.

"A bit? I dunno, I just feel giddy." Atsumu giggled.

"Well, don't let me stop yer fun, I'm just here fer some deliveries."

"So ya can't drink with us? Ya drove here right?" Atsumu asked.

"I'm afraid not, maybe next time?" Shinsuke replied.

"Yeah, next time." Had Atsumu been a puppy, his ears would have flattened to his head, his eyes would have been glassy, staring up at Shinsuke as if begging him not to go.

"I promise, okay? Next time yer free, I'll make time fer ya." At that, Atsumu's phantom ears seem to perk up, his tail wagging non-stop at his seniors promise.

"You promise?" Atsumu said hopefully. He cheered as the other nodded, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

Osamu could only sit there amused, a fond smile on his face as he looks at Kiyoomi who watched the exchange. He didn't have the heart to tell Kiyoomi that Shinsuke was only their senior and nothing else. It was obvious that Atsumu had a crush on him before but the rest of Inarizaki did too, they all wanted Kita-san's attention, they all wanted his praise, they all wanted to spend time with him, it wasn't a big deal.

The expression on Kiyoomi's face however, says otherwise. He looked as if he was ready to chuck a bottle of disinfectant spray at his former captain only because Atsumu was reverting back to the side of himself who was undeniably smitten with Shinsuke. As he moved to get up from his chair he whispered a few words to Kiyoomi that he knows will get the reaction he wants.

"I'm tellin' ya, do somethin', before ya regret it." He walks over to the two conversing near the doorway to ask about the deliveries ushering Atsumu to go back to the table and that they had their own time to catch up.

===============

"Kiyoomi, calm down."

I couldn't stop the whimper that left my lips as I feel your teeth biting me again. I had lost track of how many times you have done so, each bite only making me sink deeper into the comfortable haze where only you can take me. You're growling unintelligible things to yourself and I find myself hoping that I knew what they were. You move your mouth to my ear and whispers a word that never fails to make me shudder. "Mine."

"Yours." I whisper back, knowing that it was what you wanted to hear. It was also the one of the things I have been dying to say.

Tonight was unlike any other night. Tonight, it feels as if you were trying to prove something. Your unfaltering grip on my hips, the strength of your thrust, your marks found everywhere on my body. Tonight didn't feel as if your claim was trivial. Tonight felt like you wanted to prove to the world, to me, to _yourself,_ that I was yours.

No.

That I _am_ yours.

You pull your body away from mine as we both come down from the temporary euphoria. I know you're leaving, and it sent a pang through my chest that makes me want to throw up. You get up and take a towel from your bag. I furrow my eyebrows, why the sudden change that you want to clean yourself now?

===============

I know I can't.

But I bite you again.

I know I shouldn't.

But I feel my grip tighten.

I know I have no right to feel the way I do right now.

" _I'm tellin' ya, do somethin', before ya regret it._ " His words float around in my head clouding every other thought.

The only thing in my mind right now is that I have to make you mine. One way or another. Even if it's just for show. Even if it's just through my marks. Even if it's just a superficial claim. Even if it's futile, this will do. For now.

I pull away and see your tearful eyes and tear tracks on your face. You fix your gaze onto me, the fog never fully leaving your mind. I bring my thumb to wipe away at the drying river. I get up and walk to my bag to take a towel and went to the bathroom to wet the fabric with hot water.

Coming back, I see you peering up at me curiously, but I can feel your underlying anxiety. I know you're asking yourself why I'm still here. I know you're overthinking and trying to convince yourself that you're dreaming. But you're not. I'm here. I should have done this long ago, when I realized how I felt for you. I should have stayed and held you after each night. Maybe then, you'd learn to care for me, maybe then you wouldn't look at me as if me walking out the door scared you more than you let on.

When I was finished wiping your body, I clean myself in the shower and come back only to find that you have not moved since I left. Your silence is making me nervous, I've never seen this side of you before; a side so uncertain and reserved. Did I do this to you?

I hear you gasp when I put my hand to your cheek. As I stroked your cheekbone with my thumb, I feel you nuzzle against my palm. This calms me, in a haze of lust, euphoria or none at all, I know this will always be your weakness. I move my hand to your hair to find that your eyes have shut. As I'm smothered in my regrets I don't notice the few tears that have slipped from your eyes. It was only when you sniffled that I am broken from my trance. You turn around, your back facing me as you try your hardest to hide.

Why were you crying?

Did I do something wrong?

"Atsumu?" I hear a whimper come from you.

Why are you hiding?

===============

"Hey, Atsumu, talk to me. Did I do something?" Kiyoomi said.

Atsumu shook his head before taking a trembling breath. The hand in his hair leaves and he feels the need to cry out to bring back the comfort of his caress. He feels a body lay down next to his as he's pulled to rest his back against the other's chest. He wants to hold him, to ask him not to leave, to pretend he cares, even for just a night, even for just tonight.

"Atsumu? Please answer me?" The desperation in Kiyoomi's voice sends more tears down his face.

_Please, stop._

"Atsumu?"

_You're only making it worse._

"Love?"

 _How could you say that? How could you say that in a way as if it hurts_ you _?_

Atsumu rises to sit on the bed and Kiyoomi is by his side in a second. He feels the other circle his arms around his waist, his chin coming to rest on his shoulder. The blonde brings his hands to grip Kiyoomi's and tries to pry himself away from the other's grip. The hold tightens and he finds himself thrashing in the raven's embrace.

"Stop. Please. Just stop." Atsumu whispered.

"Then tell me if I did anything." Kiyoomi demanded.

"Ya didn't do anythi'."

"Bullshit."

"Excuse me?" Atsumu said as he turns to face the other. One of Kiyoomi's hands rested on his bare waist in a grip reminiscent of the ones he offered no more than fifteen minutes ago.

"You heard me. I know you, you wouldn't breakdown for no reason."

"Ya _know_ me?" Atsumu laughs humorlessly.

"Yes I do."

"I think it's best if you leave, Sakusa." Kiyoomi could only blanch at the cold tone.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what I did wrong." Kiyoomi said, distancing himself from the other.

"Like I said, you did nothin'. How many times do I have ta say it?" Atsumu snarled.

"Until I deem that you're telling the truth."

"Well, then apparently yer plannin' ta stay for the night since I always seem ta be lyin' ta ya." he muttered.

"Just tell me." Kiyoomi said.

"Fine, then. If I tell ya will ya leave?"

"Yes." Atsumu glares at him, he can feel his anger ebbing away the more he looks at the raven.

"I think we should stop this."

"What? Did I do something wrong? Did I make you uncomfortable?" Kiyoomi asks, concern dripping from his voice.

"Ya didn't do anythin' and that's the truth, ya can't counter me by sayin' that I'm lyin' because I can assure ya, with utmost sincerity, that I'm not."

"Then why now? Why so sudden?" " _Why are you asking me to leave you? Why are you asking me to let go of the only way that I can pretend that you're mine?_ " He continues in his head.

"I'm just not up fer it anymore."

"Bullshit."

"That's the second time ya said that Sakusa." Atsumu laughed.

"Then say something that isn't." Kiyoomi countered.

"Yer always so difficult aren't ya? Just like when we were in high school." Atsumu said fondly.

"Atsumu, I know I haven't been the most agreeable and it's not like you're any better."

"Oi!"

"But don't try to hide it from me, I may not show it much, but I care, genuinely so." Kiyoomi said.

The blonde could only look at him, he could feel tears welling up in his eyes again. Damn, hasn't he cried enough for tonight? 'Samu would probably be laughing his ass out if he saw him like this. Just as he was about to wipe the fallen tear away, he feels a hand reach up to his face and take tear from his cheek. Kiyoomi leans into his space to plant a kiss on his forehead.

"This is exactly why. Yer not supposed to be doin' this. Yer not supposed to see me like this. Yer supposed to be gone by now. Yer supposed to not care about me. I'm not supposed to like this as much as I do. I'm not supposed to like _ya_ as much as I do." Atsumu said whispering the last part to himself.

"It's a good thing I feel the same then." Kiyoomi said.

Atsumu looks up and finds that the other was smiling at him. Teasing, fond, _happy._ He looks elated with that smile on his face that Atsumu could feel his breath being taken away for the nth time. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before Kiyoomi leans to touch their foreheads together.

"Are ya okay?" Atsumu asks, remembering the other's mysophobia.

"I'm fine, we're finishing this conversation before we shower."

"Are ya sure?"

"Why do you never do that outside?" Kiyoomi asked instead.

"Do what?"

"Care. Here you're so..." he pauses. "Soft, with lack of a better word. But when we're outside you're all snark and cynic."

"I think it's the sex, 'Samu once joked that I had a submissive streak, who would have thought that he was right. Don't ya think it's better this way? Only you get ta see this side of me?" Atsumu smirked.

"I'm fine with that." Kiyoomi gave Atsumu a lopsided grin of his own.

"What are we? I've said how I felt, if ya mean what I though ya meant when ya said that, I'd assume y like me too. But what is this?"

"I was hoping that by tomorrow, well, today, I guess..." he said looking at the clock on Atsumu's night stand. "that I'd have already gotten a boyfriend, or a date at least."

Atsumu laughed. "I didn't think ya'd be this bold, eh, Sakusa?"

"That's not what you call me."

"Omi." Atsumu smiled as the other hummed in approval.

Kiyoomi pulled the other up from the bed and took them to the bathroom. Atsumu entered the shower first before dragging the other in with him, laughing as he stumbled into the relatively small space. Kiyoomi turns on the water and Atsumu feels the chill water rain down on both their bodies.

"Ya know, if yer gonna be my boyfriend, I think I deserve a kiss right now." Atsumu said after washing both their heads, the lather drifting down to the drain.

"You're always so needy." Kiyoomi said closing the little space that the shower room has permitted.

Atsumu feels the wall pressed to his back, a hand on his nape, another on his waist as the other's lips steal his. The kiss was unlike any other lust-fueled make-out session that occurred in the same place, under the same roof, by the same two people; this kiss was fueled by longing and passion. Lips crashing against each other as if a complicated dance that only they know. Satsfaction that comes with each mark causing a shudder, a whimper and a groan to escape swollen lips. For the first time since the start of the arrangement, they look each other in the eye and allow themselves to see not an instrument of indulgence, rather a person. As they break apart, they hold the other close, with the only words lingering in their minds being "Finally."

**Author's Note:**

> I had a pretty hard time writing this since I wrote it to try and overcome writer's block forgive me. I might edit this in the future so please stick around?
> 
> Another thing! I have just found out that MSBY is based in Osaka and not Tokyo. I apologize since all of my previous SakuAtsu works have all been based in Tokyo. rip me.
> 
> Please comment what you think? And please leave kudos if you liked it?? 🥺🥺🥺


End file.
